How to "Blend In"

Before we arrived in Italy, we kept being told two things: Italians DRESS for everyday things and we were to "blend in". When we packed our clothes that should have worked for the summer, Patrick and I thought we were doing pretty well with our "blending in" choices. HA! First of all, the two of us don't blend well anywhere-especially when it seems the average height for a woman is around 5'4". Secondly, although we are presentable enough to go into the churches (pants, no tank tops, I've even been ironing this summer), we still can't figure out the Italian way. Khaki pants/capris are really only worn by the Americans. Strike two for blending in! So if any of you should relocate to Italy or come see us (the door is always open, literally) here are some tips to "blend in".

1. Ladies-always wear the highest heels you can find. Doesn't matter what you wear them with, I have seen very few flats/flip-flops/sandals. Even here in Little America, the nationals wear co-ordinating heels with their swimsuits at the pool. Who says (in reference to beauty pageants) regular women don't wear shoes with a bikini?
2. Gentlemen-find a pair of pink (any shade) pants and wear them with either a polo (any shade) or linen shirt. Make sure the collar is up and you have tassles on your shoes.
3. A cell phone and a gelato (ice cream cone) are other "must have" accessories.
4. Large lens sunglasses. Wear them indoors as well.
5. I don't think I'll ever talk Patrick into one, but many men wear what Jerry Seinfeld would have coined a "man purse". Its like a small satchel about the size of a day planner worn across the body. I think the popularity of them is due to the popularity of "borrowing" other people's wallets on a permanent basis. Coach and Gucci are popular choices. After all, you have to have somewhere to put your cell phone and sunglasses (should you take them off).
6. Back to the ladies...lots of gold jewelry. It isn't done in a Mr. T fashion, but there is a lot of it.

These were just some of my observations at the Jambo (big mall) and the Auchen (another big mall, but the Auchen itself is similar to a Super Wal-Mart) last night. Shopping is a big pastime on Sunday apparently because the place was packed. It was crowded enough that I had a hard time balancing my cell phone and my gelato.